Winston Plans the Perfect Rehearsal Dinner - Part 2

Greetings from Villa Woodbine in Coconut Grove!  I've received lots of letters asking more about rehearsal dinners.  I've seen and learned much from being perched high above in my oak tree.  Here are some answers to the more commonly asked questions regarding rehearsal dinners....


What happens at a rehearsal dinner?

Along with eating, of course, the bride and groom offer up thanks and toast their families and the wedding party. There are often many other informal toasts. Sometimes this toasting becomes a roasting of the bride and groom – but it's all in good fun. You may also plan ice-breaking games or other activities including poker, pool, darts, a short funny home-movie, or backyard games. If you're not having a bridesmaid's luncheon, this is also an appropriate time to give bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts.

How do I invite my guests?

Typically, printed invitations are sent a few days after you send the wedding invitation. These don't need to be elegant and expensive – the easiest thing to do is to get the templates to print on your home computer.

Do I have to invite out-of-town guests?

Once upon a time, a rehearsal dinner was only for the wedding party and the immediate family of the bride and groom. Now, wedding magazines will tell you that you have to invite all of the out-of-town guests. Here's my opinion: it is a nice gesture, so that you don't leave them at loose ends in a strange town the night before the wedding. However, if you don't invite them, you can include a list of restaurants or things to do in the area on your wedding website. Also, you can hold the rehearsal dinner on the early side, and then include a note in your invitations saying "If you're in town the night before the wedding, we'd love to see you! We'll be at the East Side Pub after 9 pm – please join us if you can make it." A nice touch is to get the bar to provide pub snacks and appetizers to your guests, which will still be less expensive than providing them dinner.

What if I can't afford a rehearsal dinner?

First, reexamine your expectations – it doesn't have to be some grand formal thing at a restaurant or catering hall. Some of the best rehearsal dinners I've seen are relaxed backyard barbecues which allow people to really get to know each other. Set up volleyball net or get a game of touch football going. It can even be a potluck. But do have one – it's your opportunity to thank all the people who made your wedding day possible.

Feathers and Fanfare, 

Winston